mandag 31. mars 2008
so wierd
its so wierd to think that in 2 days ill sleep in my own bed. and eat bagels. and drive my car. omgggg. it seems like a lifetime ago. I think its goingto be so wierd to come home again, and then especially to leave again to come back to norway. ÅHG sooo wared. but OMG BAGELS! and DRIVING! i am not sure ill want to leave again after i get to drive my car and such, but i know i have to. And i dont think id be able to live without tristan. id die. no joke. I have no idea what Ill do next year when I dont have him there with me every day. Hes such a big part of my life that i just cant imagine it, you know. But im super excited to see my puppy again, and such. but its so wierd.
mandag 24. mars 2008
Påske and whatnot
Påske. hmmm. Easter holidays were spent very differently here in the land of norway.
We spent a week up near Sulitjelma, near sweden. We were out skiing almost every day. Initially, I liked skiing. a lot. but near the end of the week, skiing was the last thing I had on my list of things I want to do. But nevertheless, we were out skiing, and on our last day, we went skiing down the mountain, and I remember that I said all of the time *I hate skiing*, It actually was more like yelling.
Just like every family trip that has ever been, I am now a little sick of my family and I just want to get out with my friends. But thats a little difficult, because I feel like Im obligated to be home at a certain time, etc. But the thing is, in the US with my real family, I would have to problem pissing them off and staying out way late with my friends, but here I feel like I have to be a part of the family. And dont get me wrong, I love my family, but Im at the age now where I should be able to leave and make a life of my own. Which I desperately want to do, but it feels impossible under these circumstances.
I know my parents would never aprove, but what I really want to do is just stay over at my friends houses on 'school nights'. were big enough and responsible enough to be able to get up in the mornings and go to school. I should be able to stay overnight at tristans house. Itd make things a lot easier for the whole world, no shit. but by people who think they have a high authority over me, for people who think they know my limits better than I do, they make these stupid rules. I know what it is I need in my life. and Ill make sure Ill get it, and ill do it on my own terms, not on anyone elses.
We spent a week up near Sulitjelma, near sweden. We were out skiing almost every day. Initially, I liked skiing. a lot. but near the end of the week, skiing was the last thing I had on my list of things I want to do. But nevertheless, we were out skiing, and on our last day, we went skiing down the mountain, and I remember that I said all of the time *I hate skiing*, It actually was more like yelling.
Just like every family trip that has ever been, I am now a little sick of my family and I just want to get out with my friends. But thats a little difficult, because I feel like Im obligated to be home at a certain time, etc. But the thing is, in the US with my real family, I would have to problem pissing them off and staying out way late with my friends, but here I feel like I have to be a part of the family. And dont get me wrong, I love my family, but Im at the age now where I should be able to leave and make a life of my own. Which I desperately want to do, but it feels impossible under these circumstances.
I know my parents would never aprove, but what I really want to do is just stay over at my friends houses on 'school nights'. were big enough and responsible enough to be able to get up in the mornings and go to school. I should be able to stay overnight at tristans house. Itd make things a lot easier for the whole world, no shit. but by people who think they have a high authority over me, for people who think they know my limits better than I do, they make these stupid rules. I know what it is I need in my life. and Ill make sure Ill get it, and ill do it on my own terms, not on anyone elses.
torsdag 6. mars 2008
thoughts
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
that is a little bit of how i feel.
very much so, actually.
eidsvoll, norway i infact, in my eyes, the most boring place on earth.
its almost IMPOSSIBLE to do things with my friends because buses almost neverrrrrr are driving. the public transport SUCKS! its really frustrating. because after school I usually just come home and spend many hours on my computer, reading, watching tv, or writing. Its not very fulfilling to me.
I want to get out. I want to do things. I need to be with my friends. I feel like I have this requirement to be with my host family, but my friends need me also, and I need my friends just as much. Theyre my support system while I am here, and will be for the rest of my life.
If I had my way, Id go visit my friends every day. We'd do exciting things, like to go Oslo. We'd probably go there every day if we could. Its like the only interesting place in Norway to us. We come from different place, my friends and I. We are not satisfied with just sitting around with our families for 8 hours after school every day. We want to go out and experience things.
I want to get rid of alot of the rules here. I think I am responsible enough, and I know myself well enough to know what is okay and not okay for me. I think thats the age where rules need to stop. And I should be able to make my own decisions. I should be able to sleep over at whatever friends' houses i want. I should be able to go into the city when it is dark. I should be able to be out with my friends late on school nights, and sleep there if I have to. I want to be freer. I feel trapped.
I want to be with tristan right now. I want to be with him tomorrow. I want to be with him the day after... but Im not allowed to all the time. What parents, what people think they should have the authority to keep us apart. We are in love. Nobody can stop that. or will stop that. its not possible. We are old enough to take care of ourselves. We are old enough to take care of each other. We will make our own mistakes and learn from them. But thats life. Its no fun without messing up. I want to make a mess out of things with him, and then clean it up together. and learn from it. We can make it through anything.
Im looking forward to going back to the US again. Where I can drive. And there are actually things to do every day of the week. Thank god. Im going to bore myself to death here. The days go by slower and slower. All I want to do right now is get out. And do something with my life. I feel like the people around me and myself have somehow put it on pause. I never want that to happen. I want to live everyday.
Phone booth at the Train station
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
boredom.
that is a little bit of how i feel.
very much so, actually.
eidsvoll, norway i infact, in my eyes, the most boring place on earth.
its almost IMPOSSIBLE to do things with my friends because buses almost neverrrrrr are driving. the public transport SUCKS! its really frustrating. because after school I usually just come home and spend many hours on my computer, reading, watching tv, or writing. Its not very fulfilling to me.
I want to get out. I want to do things. I need to be with my friends. I feel like I have this requirement to be with my host family, but my friends need me also, and I need my friends just as much. Theyre my support system while I am here, and will be for the rest of my life.
If I had my way, Id go visit my friends every day. We'd do exciting things, like to go Oslo. We'd probably go there every day if we could. Its like the only interesting place in Norway to us. We come from different place, my friends and I. We are not satisfied with just sitting around with our families for 8 hours after school every day. We want to go out and experience things.
I want to get rid of alot of the rules here. I think I am responsible enough, and I know myself well enough to know what is okay and not okay for me. I think thats the age where rules need to stop. And I should be able to make my own decisions. I should be able to sleep over at whatever friends' houses i want. I should be able to go into the city when it is dark. I should be able to be out with my friends late on school nights, and sleep there if I have to. I want to be freer. I feel trapped.
I want to be with tristan right now. I want to be with him tomorrow. I want to be with him the day after... but Im not allowed to all the time. What parents, what people think they should have the authority to keep us apart. We are in love. Nobody can stop that. or will stop that. its not possible. We are old enough to take care of ourselves. We are old enough to take care of each other. We will make our own mistakes and learn from them. But thats life. Its no fun without messing up. I want to make a mess out of things with him, and then clean it up together. and learn from it. We can make it through anything.
Im looking forward to going back to the US again. Where I can drive. And there are actually things to do every day of the week. Thank god. Im going to bore myself to death here. The days go by slower and slower. All I want to do right now is get out. And do something with my life. I feel like the people around me and myself have somehow put it on pause. I never want that to happen. I want to live everyday.
Vikings in Oslo
Phone booth at the Train station
onsdag 5. mars 2008
Livet er greit
well. an update im sure is needed. a lot has been going on lately. including a now 6 day migraine. not so much fun, but at least its not as bad as it has been...
last thursday i got in a fight with tristan. it was, ofcourse, not the least bit fun. and that lead me into having this migraine, which has now been disrupting my life for 6 days. Maren came on friday to spend the weekend, but poor her, i was definately not up to it. I spent the whole weekend wallowing in patheticness complaining about tristan and my head.
On Friday night we went to Jessheim to shop and go out to eat. That was pretty fun, i ended up buying some bright green crocs.
On Saturday we went to Oslo to visit some friends. We ended up hanging out mostly on karl johanns gate, the main shopping street in norway. (like state street times a million). That was also a little bit fun, but the whole time this fight with tristan was a plague to me. I just couldnt get him outta my mind, and therefore the migraine just got worse. At one point i just laid down in the train station and tried to sleep cause I couldnt do anything else. Then the nausea started. But thank god i have such good friends. They just sat with me and walked with me, instead of going out and having fun. But thats, I guess, what friends are for.
Anyways, on Monday I finally talked with tristan. And were okay now. =). He is going to be more honest with me, even on times when he knows itll hurt my feelings. and Im going to think before I act. (something thats been needing work for a verrrry long time).
Today Im going to hang out with my love. Im not exactly sure what well do yet, but I now have a card where I can go wherever I want to in Akershus and Oslo. So thats really good. Its very helpful because I have more freedom now to take trains when I want, cause it doesnt cost so much. YAY!
Vi skulle dra for å ake på lørdag, i Olso. Men..... vi har ikke noe snø. =(. wæææææææ. Så kanskje vi skal gjøre noe ant i Olso ellers må vi bare kjede oss hjemme hele dagen. Trine hjelper meg med norsken min akkurat nå. Jeg må fortsette å øve på norsken min. Det er alltid mer å lære om språket. Nå er det nesten pausen. Da må jeg gå. tata. =)
last thursday i got in a fight with tristan. it was, ofcourse, not the least bit fun. and that lead me into having this migraine, which has now been disrupting my life for 6 days. Maren came on friday to spend the weekend, but poor her, i was definately not up to it. I spent the whole weekend wallowing in patheticness complaining about tristan and my head.
On Friday night we went to Jessheim to shop and go out to eat. That was pretty fun, i ended up buying some bright green crocs.
On Saturday we went to Oslo to visit some friends. We ended up hanging out mostly on karl johanns gate, the main shopping street in norway. (like state street times a million). That was also a little bit fun, but the whole time this fight with tristan was a plague to me. I just couldnt get him outta my mind, and therefore the migraine just got worse. At one point i just laid down in the train station and tried to sleep cause I couldnt do anything else. Then the nausea started. But thank god i have such good friends. They just sat with me and walked with me, instead of going out and having fun. But thats, I guess, what friends are for.
Anyways, on Monday I finally talked with tristan. And were okay now. =). He is going to be more honest with me, even on times when he knows itll hurt my feelings. and Im going to think before I act. (something thats been needing work for a verrrry long time).
Today Im going to hang out with my love. Im not exactly sure what well do yet, but I now have a card where I can go wherever I want to in Akershus and Oslo. So thats really good. Its very helpful because I have more freedom now to take trains when I want, cause it doesnt cost so much. YAY!
Vi skulle dra for å ake på lørdag, i Olso. Men..... vi har ikke noe snø. =(. wæææææææ. Så kanskje vi skal gjøre noe ant i Olso ellers må vi bare kjede oss hjemme hele dagen. Trine hjelper meg med norsken min akkurat nå. Jeg må fortsette å øve på norsken min. Det er alltid mer å lære om språket. Nå er det nesten pausen. Da må jeg gå. tata. =)
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