One More Day In Mequon

I'm feeling quite strange today. Its a mixture between a bunch of emotions.

1. Excited- I'm finally getting out of this prision environment I've spent 17 years of my life in, which is known to us as the lovely Mequon, Wisconsin. FInally and adult. No more curfews. No more nagging parents. What else could a kid ask for?
2. Nervous- As shit, I must say. I'm leaving pretty much everything I've ever known- Which, I do have to say, I've liked in the past, HELLO Norway? So I have no idea why it's harder for me now. Possibly that I've settled down to the idea that I will be spending the rest of my life with Anders, so there's no like Big Search for me at college. No reason for me to go out and party and get drunk off my ass. Maybe I won't fit in. Then again, maybe I will.
3. Uber Depressed- After tomorrow I won't be able to talk to Anders for about 2 weeks. I'll be beginning my WInona State College Adventures and he'll be off the Poland and Germany once I'm done with my freshman orientation. It's always especially hard for us when we don't talk. We rely so much on each other for support to get through these years apart. I mean, it's so difficult, but it is definitely worth it. I wouldn't wait or be in so much emotional pain for anyone else. He's the love of my life, so I'll wait for him. And not talk to him for a while so we can each take care of what we need to do.
4. Stressed- I'm super stressed lately about money. Though I can afford my first year of college (with the help of scholarships and loans) I still need to find a way to help Anders get $18,000 so he can come study in the US next year. My parents adivse me to not help him out and take care of myself. What they don't realize is that when Anders and I committed ourselves to each other we meant we'd be a team forever. That includes in times of financial crisis. That would be now, and possibly forever if our loans get large enough...
5. Misplaced- My family is hosting a girl from Japan this year and she has now taken over what once was 'the marissa room.' The past few weeks have been filled with emptying out my closet and under the bed and getting EVERYTHING out of my room. It's very strange because I'm losing the idea of living at my parents home. I no longer have a room here, so I guess that means I'm supposed to be up and out on my own. Adios to the comforts of an always full refrigerator or washing machine right down the stairs. Hello to cafeterias and laundromats. Fun. It's so exciting. But so scary. I'm so ready for this new change in my life. I'm getting so bored and that's why I need to get out. It's my life. My life is an adventure. So I'll strap on my seat belt and go for a ride.