julen i norge 2009

christmas in norway with my wonderful fiancé anders and his family. (a little update friends and family reading this, a wedding is not to take place for 3 or so more years...)

here are some photos from this winter.

CRAZY LOVE

Michael Bublé's new CD, Crazy Love, is fantastic. He is a wonderful musician. And if anyone out there is reading this blog, I HIGHLY suggest you take a little time and listen to it. It will put you in a happy place.

The song, Hold On, is pretty much the story of my life, too. Check out the lyrics.

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones.

I guess that we were once, babe, we were once, 

but luck will leave you cursed, it

is a faithless friend, 

and in the end, when life has got you down, 

you've got someone here that you

can wrap your arms around.

So hold on to me tight, 

hold on to me tonight.

We are stronger here together, 

than we could ever be alone.

So hold on to me, 

don't you ever let me go.

There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart, 

but it's no ones fault, no it's not my fault.

Maybe all the plans we made might not work out, 

but I have no doubt, even though it's hard to see.

I've got faith in us, and I believe in you and me.

So hold on to me tight.

Hold on, I promise it will be alright.

Cuz it's you and me together, 

and baby all we've got is time.

So hold on to me, 

hold on to me tonight.

There's so many dreams that we have given up.

Take a look at all we've got, 

and with this kind of love, 

and what we've got here is enough.

So hold on to me tight.

Hold on, I promise it will be alright.

Cuz it's you and me together, 

and baby all we've got is time.

So hold on to me, 

hold on to me tonight.

Almost ready to move on the bigger and better things

I'm only in Winona for 3 more 'school' weeks and I'm very excited to leave. It is not that I haven't really made any friends while I've been here, I have, but this small town with no place for the arts has just made it difficult for me to find my niche. I will miss some of the people that I've come to know, but I probably will fail to keep in contact, just like with everyone else in the world that I have met.

I don't really have a problem with that, but my inability to keep in contact, I fear, is only burning bridges with the friendships I've had.

Whatever, I guess. I just get annoyed by people who are satisfied with their lives in one place, so when I get up and go places I just feel bad for them and don't keep in contact. whoops.

I've only been good at keeping in contact with Anders. I guess that is what love does to you.

Ninja

I haven't posted in a while, but all is well with me. Here is a picture of Lauren and I at a cast party for the WSU Musical Two by Two a few weeks back. The plans are Madison for this Halloween weekend and then only a few more weeks until Milwaukee will be greeted by my face.

pictures of myself over the last few years

Peter Gabriel's music is quite theraputic

The last few days have been sort of stressful for me, so I'm listening to Peter Gabriel to help calm me down. Classes haven't been extremely difficult, but trying to find out what to do next year isn't easy. Part of me is screaming to get out before I get caught in this trap of small town and seclusion, but there is a part of me that is aching to stay here. That part is my wallet.

Mom keeps telling me not to think about the money, but how can I not when the facts are as simple as this: (approx. per year)

My out of pocket tuition -> Winona $6,600 UWMadison~$18,000 UWM~$16,000
Anders' tuition* -> Winona $18,000 UWMadison ~$41,000 UWM~$32,000

*Anders' has the opportunity to get some money from the Norwegian government and there are a few scholarships available... but not to cover everything.

It's not like I'm entirely unhappy here. I just wish there were bigger buildings around here, more to do, harder classes, and more art programs to choose from. It's a decently good school, so maybe I can make it work.

All I really care about is that Anders and I will be in the same place studying to get our degrees so we can have a better life for us and out family someday. Is that too much to ask?

College Tests...

I found out my score today for my first college test... 38/38 baby!!! That's a 100%. I enjoy getting good grades, now I just hope I can keep it that way.

I joined the International Club and last night I went to the first meeting of the year. I came to a room full of smiles and foreign accents and skin colors. I was actually one of only three white people in the room. Most of the exchange students are from Taiwan, Bangladesh, and Nepal. I'd never met anyone from Bangladesh or Nepal before and they are two countries that I long to travel to. This guy from Spain wants to go there to go bungee jumping... I'm quite sure that I'm in.

While talking to these folks I experienced more of the international college experience. We talked about how they afforded to come here and most of them are only paying around $9,000 a year. That's $5,000 less than I am paying. There are multiple scholarships that Anders can pay for, so we're hoping he'll get some of them.

Anyways, I just ate a lot of goldfish and I don't feel so well. I'm gonna drink some orange juice to wash them down and then I'll be off early to bed. Good night!

Sugarloaf Bluff

Today some girls and I climbed up Sugarloaf bluff above Winona. We had PBJs and Jelly Bellys... tasty times. It was nice to have a little photo shoot as well.

Labor day weekend

The only things left on campus this weekend are... gnats. I didn't know that there existed so many gnats in this world. I bike to class, or just around, and i have to wear long pants and a sweatshirt and sunglasses, just to avoid the gnats, and I still end up with maybe 30 dead on my clothes. Absolutely beautiful.

So the majority of people here at WSU have chosen to go home for the weekend. I wasn't willing to pay for a $100 train ticket so here I am, with my new friends, the gnats. I was trying to figure out what to do today and so I thought, heck, I'll just go on campus and do my homework outside. I practiced viola for an hour and now I'm sitting underneath a tree writing on, of course, my blog. The only people around here are a few families who have chosen to come visit their kids instead.

I might practice more viola later or I'll find somebody to hang out with, but for now I'll be working on my MCOM notes and maybe I'll read Watchmen.

I have no control of the future

Not such a good day, I suppose one can say.

Over the past few weeks I've been trying to make friends and get acquainted with the campus and my classes, etc. I haven't really made any real lasting friends and it's kind of frustrating to me. In Norway I made friends right away on the first day and I talk to those friends to this day. In fact, I'll be marrying one of them someday. As for my classes here, I'm severely disappointed. The orchestra here is at a lower level than that of my old high school orchestra. My viola lessons are only 30 minutes long. And music theory is much too easy. I thought that orchestra and music weren't that important to me, but I guess if I've learned anything in the last few weeks it's that, yes, being in an orchestra that challenges me is important.



So for now, I'm not only job searching, but I have once again joined the hunt for colleges. I'm considering moving to Norway and studying at Barratt Due or the Music Conservatory in Oslo if I get in. It would, most likely, be the smartest idea financially. It would be kind of expensive living in Oslo, but if I'm living with Anders, we can share the expenses. I know that there is a fee to go study in Norway, but there is a way around that. That would be for me to marry Anders. I would, also, then be eligible for financial aid from the Norwegian government (tuition is free and the government will give me money for living expenses).

The most difficult part to that proposition is the whole family matter. I know I'm young and I know I shouldn't be in a rush. But in my eyes, I will not be missing out on anything if I marry at a young age. They say you just know when you meet the person you're meant to be with. And let me tell you, I knew. Over a year ago. And we promised each other we'd be together someday. Right now is just a waiting period- for Anders to finish up school and for us both to earn enough money to live in the same country.

Money is an issue right now, and one of the main reasons why we're in the tough situation we're in. We cannot afford to visit each other often or go to school in the same country like normal students. Our options are pretty much limited to: get a huge scholarship, win the lottery, or get married and receive financial aid. The last sounds the most realistic to us both.

And while we'd love to have a big wedding and celebration, that just isn't in the budget right now. So we say, why not get married now, stay together in the same country, study at college, get jobs, save up money, and throw a party later- maybe on our 5 year anniversary.

The hardest people to convince of this plan would be my parents. I don't really know, but I think that they're thinking I'd be making a big mistake if I marry Anders so young. I think this stems from my mom and dad's past and the circumstances under which they became a thing.

Anyways, I hope that they can support us if we do decide that getting married young would be the best for us.

I think everyone knows that Anders and I are meant for each other and will one day be married anyway.


And I can tell you, I have thought about this for endless hours and I understand how hard a decision like this can be on a family. Being away from my parents and siblings will be one of the hardest things I'll ever have to do, but there's a man I love in this world and I can't imagine my life without him. Visits to the US would be made as frequently as possible, but as students, that might not be very often. It's heartbreaking to leave my parents and siblings, but Anders is my family now and so we'll be one giant family living over 2 continents. We can work it out.